Friday 24 August 2018

Descriptive Writing

WALT:  Use precise adjectives in our writing to add interest to our readers

My paragraph


I was kidnaped and taken into an abandoned Warehouse. I was scared,
my teeth were chattering. I was tied up on the chair with the light
beaming down on me. It had graffiti on the walls.
I saw them walking in I couldn't get a clear sight of them but I knew they were
bad. There was three of them. They were wearing bandanas, my first look at them I thought they were desert people but they weren’t I took a closer look
and realised they were iran terrorists that kidnaped me. I was so scared.
They put me at gunpoint but they did not shoot me I was lucky. They took the
handkerchief out of my mouth and made me tell them the truth.                                       THE END
                                                     

SELF ASSESSMENT


To work on :
I need to work on making my punctuation better and in better places.


Things that i have done well :


I have made the story more interesting in more places.


Peer assessment

I liked it and it was interesting. It was also a bit short  


By George
6

3 comments:

  1. Kia ora George it Morgan here I think that is a great piece of writing. It really paints a picture in my head. I think that it is really clear and it makes me read more. Do you think it is creepy? I do.e noho ra (bye).

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kia Ora George, Its Cleo here from Totara 3.
    I really liked reading your story it was very interesting. I liked how you have used some descriptive language to describe your story and make it sound more spooky. What was your favourite part about writing this? Good Job!!

    From Cleo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comments.